Due to such precious people, I get to smile genuinely and gain the ability to differentiate between constructive criticism and destructive one, a 2-in-1 benefit alhamdolilah. This is the type of insight I’d rather develop earlier than later. I cannot stand passive people who just nod in affirmative all the time. At least, the haters interact mentally with what I have to say. So, mission accomplished, alhamdolilah.
Pointing out mistakes is 100% welcomed by me even though it is a bitter pill to swallow but that’s our egoes coming in the way. I ask Allah SWT to show me my mistakes long before I die, aid me in rectifying them however painful that is and cover them from other people in this dunia and Akhira.Ameen.
However, arguing is an entirely different story. I don’t like that one bit.
I do not further my conversation with people:
- who are cowardly, end up being personal and disrespect the respect Allah azza wa Jall has given every human being regardless of their background
- who know they are at wrong, persist in wrong stubbornly with no legit excuse, and continue to argue on the basis of their whims and desires
- whom I can sense that it’s not them speaking but it’s their jealousy or other mental block
- who have no evidence from Quran & Sunnah
As a Muslim, we’re above all that. Not above such people but above such lowly tactics and ugly games. Prophet salalahu ‘alayhi wasalam asked us to either speak good or keep silent. He salalahu ‘alayhi wasalam has also promised a house in Jannah for those of us who give up arguing when they’re right. An amazing opportunity to apply those ahadith.
You know you’ve made your point when the other person has no other way to make a ‘come-back’ except by humiliating you. It’s funny when people consider it like a ‘come-back’ competition when that’s the last thing on your mind. Everyone has their ‘arsenal’ but only some people make a conscious decision not to use it. A wise person always weighs his decisions on the basis of Akhira and gives up for the Sake of Allah SWT if he feels that it’ll bring greater benefit to both parties. Leave it to Allah SWT to judge between you and him/her on the Day of Judgement. And leave very politely, not with an attitude. It’s hard but totally worth it.
Unload such people from your mental ark to Jannah. Unfortunately, a lot of people forget that their speech too is going to be accountable on the Day of Judgement, including what they type. Degrees and certifications are all pieces of paper.You can immediately tell how much knowledge a person has put into practice by their manners. It is an excellent gauge. Nothing is more abominable than bad manners, whether you’re a child, adult, doctor, ‘Aalim, student, teacher, Muslim or non-Muslim. Arrogance is something I run away from and I’m sure a lot of people do as well. May Allah SWT save me from such a trait.Ameen.
Alhamdolilah for Islamic teachings to motivate us to be patient, wise and exceed others in civility. Part of encountering such haters is you get the chance to become a Muhsin, one who gives up his right and increases in good mannerisms by aiming for excellence. Those who want to seek His Pleasure never stoop low and look at the creation. Rather they aim high and constantly look at the Creator and see whether He SWT is Pleased.
Umm Sulaym RA was in my mind, Umm al Khayr. How could I not want to be like her and exceed others in patience? That’s the benefit of having a role model.
Be a door of goodness regardless of what happens. Be a woman of goodness because it is only the women of goodness who are going to be inheritors of Paradise inshaa’Allah. Most importantly: have sympathy for the haters and make duaa for their hidaya. You could’ve easily been in their place had Allah SWT not guided you. So all praise belongs to Allah SWT in the most Perfect Form who guided you, increased you with awareness of what’s right and wrong, and made clear what to worry about and what not. Alhamdolilah! Also, make duaa to Allah SWT to guide you to use the right words because there’s nothing wrong with such a noble message. It’s you, the messenger, who’s deficient.
Islam breeds gentle people. Don’t get me wrong, not being apologetic here. I have no time to waste on such useless things. But all I want to say is that it made me a better person, a person of better heart and manners, a woman of more noble aims . Please don’t blame Islam for the deficiencies you see in its followers who are least bothered about following it. Look at those who wish to live by it and not at those who use it just a label.
True Muslims make a grand bargain. Don’t forget, they’ve already sold their souls to Allah SWT. They submit to Him with respect and love. They prefer Him over their desires. Period.
And Allah SWT knows best.
May Allah SWT make us powerful strong women like the mothers of the believers, Umm Sulaym RA and all the amazing Sahabiat (may Allah SWT be pleased with them all). May Allah SWT not make us of those who have self-love and increase us in our desire to seek Jannah in every insult, hurt, cold behaviour. Ya Wadood, please beautify my manners, increase me in compassion and make me a source of comfort for everyone for I’m in need of Your Help to get rid of my deficiencies and it’s Only You Alone who can remove them.Ameen.