O mankind! Be afraid of your Lord (by keeping your duty to Him and avoiding all evil), and fear a Day when no father can avail aught for his son, nor a son avail aught for his father. Verily, the Promise of Allâh is true, let not then this (worldly) present life deceive you, nor let the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allâh. (33)
Verily, Allâh! With Him (Alone) is the knowledge of the Hour, He sends down the rain, and knows that which is in the wombs. No person knows what he will earn tomorrow, and no person knows in what land he will die. Verily, Allâh is All-Knower, All-Aware (of things). (34)
The Amount of Mahr (Dowry) [Fatwa 10525]
And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful).
[Surat an-Nisaa, 4:4]
- Give even if it’s an iron ring. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to a man who wanted to get married: “Look (for something to give as a dowry), even if it is a ring of iron.” [Agreed upon.]
- Keeping it simple. Sharee’ah does not stipulate a certain limit for the mahr that should not be overstepped, but it does encourage reducing the mahr and keeping it simple.
- Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” [Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.]
- Ahmad (23957) and Ibn Maajah (4095) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of the signs of a woman being blessed is that the process of proposing to her is made easy and the dowry is made affordable and she bears children easily.” [Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2235).]
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) set the highest example for his ummah in that regard, so that a clear understanding of the basic principles would be implanted in society, and a spirit of simplicity would spread among the people.
- Mahr of Fatima RA:Abu Dawood (2125) and al-Nasaa’i (3375) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Ali said: “I married Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, let me go ahead with the marriage.’ He said: ‘Give her something.’ I said: ‘I do not have anything.’ He said: ‘Where is your Hutami shield?’ I said, ‘I have it with me.’ He said, ‘Give it to her.’” [Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3160.] This was the mahr of Faatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the leader of the women of Paradise.
- Going to extremes is not a sign of piety. Ibn Maajah (1887) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said:“Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own, and caused me a great deal of hardship’.” [classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1532.]
- “Do not go to extremes” means do not exaggerate in increasing the dowry. “A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her” means, until he begins to hate her when he is still paying off the debts incurred because of this mahr because it is too hard for him, or whenever he thinks about the matter.[From Haashiyat al-Sindi ‘ala Ibn Maajah. ]
- Mahr of the daughters and wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): Twelve uqiyah is equivalent to 480 dirhams, i.e., approximately 135 silver riyals (134.4).
- Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (no. 1426) that Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan said: “I asked ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) what the mahr given by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was. She said: ‘The mahr that he gave to his wives was twelve ooqiyah and a nashsh.’ He said, Do you know what a nashsh is? He said, she said it is half of an ooqiyah. That was five hundred dirhams. This was the mahr given by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to his wives.”
- The scholar Ibn Khaldoon said: “The consensus of the scholars from the beginning of Islam and the time of the Sahaabah and the Taabi’een has been that the shar’i dirham is that of which ten coins weigh seven mithqaals of gold. The ooqiyah is forty dirhams of this type, and on this basis it is seven-tenths of a dinar… All of these amounts are agreed upon by scholarly consensus (ijmaa’).” [Muqaddimah Ibn Khaldoon, pp. 263]
- Based on this, the weight of a dirham in grams is 2.975 grams. So the mahr of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was 500 x 2.975 = 1487.5 grams of silver. The price of one gram of pure silver that has not been worked is approximately 1 riyal, so the mahr in riyals is approximately 1487.5 riyals.In dollars it is approximately $396.7 (Fatwa 3119)
- Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/194: “Whoever thinks of increasing his daughter’s mahr and asking for more than the daughters of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were given – when they were the best women in this world in all aspects – is an ignorant fool. The same applies to asking for more than the Mothers of the Believers were given. This applies even if one is well off and can afford it. With regard to one who is poor, he should not give a mahr greater than he can afford to pay without any hardship.” He also said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra: “The words of Imam Ahmad according to the report of Hanbal imply that it is mustahabb for the dowry to be four hundred dirhams. This is the correct view in cases where the man can afford it. It is mustahabb to pay this amount and no more.”
- In Zaad al-Ma’aad (5/178), Ibn al-Qayyim quoted some of the ahaadeeth that indicate that the mahr should be reduced and that there is no minimum amount. Then he said: “These ahaadeeth indicate that there is no minimum amount for the mahr and that exaggerating concerning the mahr is makrooh, and that it reduces its barakah (blessing). “
- Evil consequences of having high dowries, here.
The Timing of Dowry [Fatwa 131069]
It is permissible for the mahr to be given immediately or delayed, or some of it may be given immediately and some of it may be delayed, according to whatever is agreed upon by the spouses. There is nothing wrong with that.
- Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “It is permissible for the dowry to be given immediately, or delayed, or some of it may be given immediately and some of it may be delayed, because it is paid in return for something, thus is permissible in this case, like paying a price.” [Al-Mughni, 7/169]
- Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The Sahaabah did not write down dowries because they did not get married on the basis of a delayed dowry; rather they paid the mahr immediately, and even if they delayed it, the amount was known. When people began to get married on the basis of a delayed dowry, and a long time would pass and it would be forgotten, they began to write down the delayed portion and that became evidence to prove the dowry and that she was his wife. End quote.” [Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 32/131]
- Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it essential to take possession of the dowry when it is named or at the time of the marriage contract, or is it sufficient just to name it? Is it permissible to delay it until sometime after marriage?
- He replied: This issue depends on what is agreed between the two spouses, or between the husband and the woman’s guardian. If they agree on something, there is nothing wrong with it, whether it is immediate payment or delay. The entire matter is broad in scope, praise be to Allah, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions” and “The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible to you.”
- If they agree that the mahr is to be paid immediately or later, or some of it is to be paid immediately and some of it is to be paid later, there is nothing wrong with any of that. But the Sunnah is to specify the dowry at the time of the marriage contract, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property, desiring chastity…” [al-Nisa’ 4:24].
- So something should be named for the mahr. If something specific is named, that is good; if it is said “For a dowry to be paid later on,” and it is known to both parties, there is nothing wrong with it; or if half of it is to be paid later on, or one-third, or one-quarter, and what is to be paid immediately and what is to be paid later is specified, there is nothing wrong with it. The matter is broad in scope, praise be to Allah. End quote. [Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz, 21/89-90]
- Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it valid to delay the woman’s dowry? Is it a debt owed by the husband that he is obliged to pay?
- He replied: “The delayed dowry is permissible and there is nothing wrong with it. If a man stipulates that the dowry or part of it is to be delayed, there is nothing wrong with that. But it is permissible if he stipulates a specific time period, and it becomes due at that time [?]. If the time is not specified, then it becomes due in the event of divorce, annulment or death; so it is a debt owed by the husband which may be demanded from him after that time period ends whilst he is still alive, or after death, as in the case of all debts.” [Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 13/1368]
Use of Dowry [Fatwa 10509]
- The mahr is the exclusive right of the women, to dispose of as she wishes. She does not have to prepare the house, because there is no text in the sources of sharee’ah which state that the wife is under any obligation to prepare the marital home. There is nothing to state that her parents are obliged to prepare the house either. No one has the right to force her to do that. If she does anything to prepare the house or the furnishings and equipment that are needed, this is voluntary on her part.
- Preparing the house is an obligation on the husband. He is the one who has to do everything that is needed to prepare the marital home by supplying furnishings, conveniences, equipment and whatever else is needed in the home, because that is all part of the spending which he is obliged to spend on his wife.
Extravagant Expenditures [fatwa 171265]
Verily, He likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance.
It is reported that the Tâbi’î (Successor) ‘Uqbah b. Wassâj – Allâh have mercy on him – was once at a wedding reception where many kinds of dishes were offered and people started trying one dish after another. He started to cry, and said:
“I found the first part of this Ummah fearing all this upon themselves.”
And he ate only from one dish.Ibid. article 261 Source: Sayings of the Salaf
- Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:What is your opinion on expensive dowries and extravagance in wedding parties, especially preparations for what is called the honeymoon, which includes high expenses? Does Islam approve of this?
- He (may Allah have mercy on him) replied: Expensive dowries and extravagance in wedding parties are things that are contrary to sharee‘ah. The most blessed marriage is that which is affordable; the less the expenses are, the greater the blessings. This is something that in most cases is the fault of women, because women are the ones who force their husbands to pay for expensive parties that are not allowed in sharee‘ah. This is something that is included in the words of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted (interpretation of the meaning): “…but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allâh) likes not Al-Musrifûn (those who waste by extravagance)” [al-A‘raaf 7:31]. Many women force their husbands to do that and say “So and so had such and such in her party” and so on.But what is required in such matters is to act in the way prescribed in Islam and not overstep that mark or be extravagant, because Allah – may He be glorified and exalted – has forbidden extravagance and has said that He does not like those who waste by extravagance.With regard to what is called the “honeymoon”, it is even worse and more reprehensible, because it is an imitation of the non-Muslims and it is a great waste of money. It also leads to neglect of many religious matters, especially if this time is spent in a non-Muslim country, after which they come back with habits and customs that are harmful to them and to their society. These are matters which are dangerous to the ummah. But if the man were to travel with his wife to do ‘Umrah or to visit Madinah, there is nothing wrong with that, in sha Allah.[Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/176]
The Wedding Dress
- There is nothing wrong with a woman wearing a white wedding dress on condition that she does not appear in it in front of men who are not her mahrams, because usually wedding dresses are adorned and decorated, and we have already stated in the answer to question no. 39570 that one of the conditions of women’s hijab is that it should not be an adornment in and of itself.
- It is also essential that this dress does not reveal any of the woman’s charms, even if she is only going to appear in front of women in it. See question no. 6569 and 34745.
- With regard to it being the dress of kaafir women, that is not the case. Rather many Muslim women nowadays, if not most of them, wear this kind of dress.
- Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked: What is the ruling on a woman wearing white for her wedding as it is known that this is an imitation of the kuffaar?
- He replied: It is permissible for a woman to wear white so long as it is not in the same form as men’s clothing. With regard to it being an imitation of the kuffaar, that is no longer the case, because now all Muslim women wear such clothes when they are getting married. The ruling depends on whether the reason for it is present or not. If it is no longer an imitation of the kuffaar and this has now become something that is common to both Muslims and kaafirs, then the ruling no longer applies, unless something is haraam in and of itself and not because it is an imitation of others. Such things are haraam in all cases. [Majmoo’at As’ilat tahumm al-Mar’ah, pp. 92]
(1) Conditions which make it permissible:
- This beautification should not be for non-mahram men. The one for whom she should beautify herself first and foremost is her husband. If she uses cosmetics so that her husband will see her in the best shape, or she appears thus beautified before other women or her mahrams, that is permissible for her, because the basic principle is that she should cover all of her body in front of non-mahram men, so how can it be permissible for her to beautify herself for them in addition to that?
- The materials used for cosmetic purposes should be permissible, such as henna and kohl. It is not permissible for her to use fat from dead meat (i.e., from animals that have not been slaughtered in accordance with sharee’ah) or impure (naajis) substances, because Islam forbids using impure and haraam things.
- The materials used for cosmetic purposes should not be harmful to her body. It is not permissible for her to use harmful chemical substances, whether the harmful effect will occur immediately or in the future, because Islam forbids harming oneself, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be neither causing harm nor reciprocating harm.”
- The cosmetic effect on the body should be temporary. It is not permissible for her to use those substances that change the creation of Allaah, as some women do by having lip treatments, face peeling and tattoos which change the colour of the skin permanently.
- Some powders and cosmetics that are used as makeup form a insulating layer over the skin and prevent water from reaching it, while others do not prevent water from reaching the skin.If a cosmetic item insulates the skin (e.g., nailpolish) then it is not permissible to perform wudoo’ or ghusl over it, for any act of worship that requires wudoo or ghusl (such as prayer, etc.). Allaah the most glorified and Almighty says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! When you prepare for prayer, wash your faces and hands ….” Al-Maa’idah [5:6]
- Washing implies that water must actually reach the part of the body being washed. Based on this observation, anything that prevents water from reaching the skin must be removed, otherwise purification will not be achieved, resulting in the prayer being void.
- If the cosmetic item does not insulate the skin and does not prevent water from reaching it (e.g., dying by henna or similar things which do not insulate the skin), then wudoo’ or ghusl may be performed with it.
- Hence, dyes are of two types: the first is that which is waterproof, such as nailpolish, which must be removed before performing wudoo’ or ghusl. The second is that which does not form an impermeable barrier to water, such as henna dye, and hence does not hurt the wudoo or ghusl. [References:Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam Al-Mar’ah, Abdul Karim Zaidan, 1/84-85 ; Fataawi Al-Mar’ah Al-Muslimah, Shaykh Muhammad bin Salih Al-Uthaymeen, 1/220; Ahkaam Tajmeel Al-Nisaa’ fi Al-Shari‘ah Al-Islamiyyah, Izdihar Al-Madani; Zeenat Al-Mar’ah bayn Al-Tibb wa Al-Shar‘.]
- It says in Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen:
- Plucking of women’s eyebrows is not permissible, it is the namas for which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who does it. The evidence for that is the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Allaah has cursed the woman who does tattoos and the one who has them done, the woman who plucks eyebrows (al-naamisah) and the one who has it done (al-mutanammisah), and the one who files her teeth for the purpose of beauty, altering the creation of Allaah.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5931; Muslim, 2125]
- The naamisah is the one who does it for someone else and the mutanammisah is the one who asks someone else to do it for her (as mentioned in the hadeeth). The same applies if a woman does it for herself. It is haraam and is not permitted.
- Allaah is Wise in what He decrees for His slaves. Some people are beautiful in appearance and some are not; the entire matter is in the hand of Allaah. It is essential to be patient and seek reward with Allaah, and not to transgress His sacred limits for the sake of one’s own whims and desires.
- What I think is that you should not remove anything from the eyebrows at all, unless there is hair outside of the line of the eyebrows, such as if there is a mole from which a hair is growing. This may be removed because in this case it is removing a kind of fault or deformity, not in order to look beautiful. And Allaah knows best. [See Fataawa Manaar al-Islam by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 3, p. 832.]
- Shaykh Ibn Jibreen said: “It is not permissible to cut the hair of the eyebrows, or to shave it, reduce it or pluck it, even with the husband’s approval. This is not the matter of beauty, rather it is altering the creation of Allaah Who is the Best of creators. A warning has been narrated against doing that and the one who does it is cursed; this implies that it is forbidden.
- The Committee was asked:What is the Islamic ruling on plucking the hair between the eyebrows? They replied: It is permissible to pluck it, because it is not part of the eyebrows. [Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 5/197]
- Difference of opinion regarding facial hair (excluding eyebrows):As for removing facial hair, there is a difference of opinion among the scholars as to whether it is permissible to remove it. This is based on their various understandings of the word al-namas.
- Some scholars said that al-namas means removing any facial hair, and they did not limit it to the eyebrows. Others were of the view that al-namas refers to removing the hair of the eyebrows only. This was the view favoured by the Standing Committee as is clear from the fatwas quoted above. [Fatwa 9037]
- Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The naamisah is the woman who removes hair from the face and the mutanammisah is the one who asks to have that done. This action is haraam, unless a woman develops a beard or moustache, in which case it is not haraam to remove it, rather that is mustahabb in our view. [Fatwa 9037]
- It is proven that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance is a zaaniyah.” [Narrated by Imam Ahmad (19212) and al-Nasaa’i (5126); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘.]
- It was narrated that Zaynab, the wife of ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with her and her husband) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “If one of you (women) wants to go to the mosque, let her not put on perfume.” [Narrated by Muslim (443). ]
- In Saheeh Muslim and elsewhere from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen: men with whips like the tails of cattle with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed but naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something like the humps of camels on their heads. They will not enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance, and its fragrance can be smelled from such and such a distance.”
Wedding Bands/Rings [Fatwa 21441]
- Men can’t wear gold. With regard to men wearing gold, whether it is a ring or anything else, it is not permissible under any circumstances, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade gold for the males of this ummah. He saw a man wearing a ring of gold and he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took if from his hand and said, “Would any one of you take a coal from the fire and hold it in his hand?” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Libaas wa’l-Zeenah, 3897). So it is not permissible for the Muslim male to wear a gold ring. But with regard to rings of silver or any other kind of metal, it is permissible for men to wear them even if they are precious metals.
- If it is believed that it generates love between the spouses, and that taking it off and not wearing it will have an effect on the marital relationship, then this is regarded as a form of shirk and is a kind of jaahili belief. Based on the above, it is not permissible to wear a wedding ring under any circumstances.
- Firstly, because it is an imitation of those who are no good; it is a custom that has come to the Muslims from the non-Muslims.
- Secondly, if that is accompanied by the belief that it has an effect on the marital relationship, then this is a kind of shirk. Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (there is no power and no strength except with Allaah). [From a fatwa issued by Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan].
- Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked about the ruling on wearing engagement rings. He said: The engagement ring is a kind of ring, and there is nothing wrong with rings in principle, unless that is accompanied by some belief, as some people do when the man writes his name on the ring that he gives to his fiancée, and she writes her name on the ring that she gives to him, believing that this will create strong bonds between the couple. In this case, this ring is haraam, because it is an attachment to something for which there is no basis in Islam and which makes no sense. Similarly, with regard to the engagement ring, it is not permissible to the man to put it on his fiancée’s hand, because she is not his wife yet and she is still a stranger (non-mahram) to him, because she is not his wife until after the marriage contract has been done. [See al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, vol. 3, p. 914-915]
Announcement of Marriage
- Al-Tirmidhi (1089) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that she said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce this marriage.” [Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Irwa’ (7/50).]
- It is mustahabb to congratulate the husband as the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) congratulated people. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that when a man got married he would congratulate him and pray for him, saying: “May Allaah bless you and bring blessings upon you and bring you together in goodness.” [Narrated by Abu Dawood (2130) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.]
The Waleemah [fatwa 138358]
- Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It (the waleemah) is prescribed for the husband, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allah be pleased with him): “Give a waleemah,” and he did not tell his in-laws to do that. And because the blessing is greater for the husband than for the wife, because he is the one who sought the woman; it is very rare for the woman to seek the man. [End quote from al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 12/321.]
- It is permissible for the wedding feast to be organised jointly between the husband and wife, or the wife’s family may organise it. Similarly, the wedding expenses may be shared as agreed between the two parties, and each of them may offer a wedding feast, as is customary in some countries. If there is some dispute as to who is obliged to provide the wedding feast, it is to be provided by the husband, as stated above. But other wedding expenses, such as having a party in a hotel and so on, should be done according to mutual agreement.
Singing & Dancing
- With regard to permissible words in songs, they are those that do not contain any haraam descriptions, or provoke desire, or words that are forbidden in sharee’ah, or some innovated adhkaar, and other haraam things. There are sufficient permissible things that may be sung about, such as encouraging good morals, the pursuit of knowledge, giving up haraam things, and so on. The Standing Committee said: You are correct in your ruling that songs of the modern type are haraam, because they include immoral words and things that are no good, and they include idle leisure and provocation of sexual desire, and promiscuity, and the voice has a quality that inspires evil thoughts in the mind of the listener. It is permissible for you to replace these songs with Islamic nasheeds which contain rulings, exhortation and teaching, which will increase people’s keenness and pride in their religion, and promote Islamic feelings and put people off evil and what leads to it. [Fatwa no. 3295, dated 13/10/1400 AH]
- It is permissible for women to beat the daff and to sing permissible songs on permissible occasions such as Eid, celebrations and the like.
- Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:It is permissible for him – the bridegroom – to allow women to announce the marriage by beating the daff only, and by singing permissible songs in which there is no description of beauty or mention of immoral phrases… then he mentioned the evidence for that. [Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 93.]
- The evidence that the Shaykh mentioned is:
- It was narrated that al-Rubayyi’ bint Mu’awwidh said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered upon me on the day of my wedding and sat on my mattress as you are sitting now, and young girls were beating the daff and singing about their fathers who had been killed at the battle of Badr, until a girl said, “And among us is a Prophet who knows what will happen tomorrow.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not say this, but say the other things that you were saying.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3700.]
- It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that she took a woman on her wedding night to a man from among the Ansaar, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, “O ‘Aa’ishah, was there any entertainment (in the gathering)? For the Ansaar love entertainment.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4765.]
- It was narrated that Abu Ishaaq said: I heard ‘Aamir ibn Sa’d al-Bajali say: I saw Thaabit ibn Wadee’ah and Qarazah ibn Ka’b al-Ansaari at a wedding, and there was singing. I spoke to them about that and they said that a concession had been granted allowing singing at weddings and weeping for the dead, so long as there was no wailing. [Narrated by al-Bayhaqi, 14469.]
- It was narrated that Muhammad ibn Haatib al-Jamahi said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The thing that differentiates between haraam and halaal is the beating of the daff and voices.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1008; al-Nasaa’i, 3316; Ibn Maajah, 1886. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 96.]
- This is what it is permitted for women to do of singing at weddings. The only musical instrument that is permissible for them is the daff, and not others such as the tabl. The difference between them is that the tabl is covered on both sides whereas the daff is open on one side and covered on the other.
- The Standing Committee said: With regard to the tabl and other kinds of musical instruments, it is not permissible to use them with these anasheed, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them) did not do that. [Fataawa, no. 3259, dated 13/10/1400 AH.] [Fatwa 9290]
- Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Dancing is makrooh in principle, but if it is done in the western manner or in imitation of the kaafir women, then it becomes haraam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Moreover it sometimes leads to fitnah, because the dancer may be a young, beautiful woman, so the other women are tempted. Even if she is among other women, the other women may do things that indicate that they are temped by her. And whatever is a cause of fitnah is not allowed. [Liqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh, q. 1085.]
- He also said:” With regard to dancing on the part of women, it is an evil action and we cannot say that it is permissible, because we have heard of incidents that have occurred among women because of it. If it is done by men that is even worse, because that is men imitating women, and the evil involved is well known. If dancing is done among a mixed group of men and women, as some of the foolish do, that is even worse because of the mixing and great fitnah involved, especially when that is done at a wedding party.” [Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/187.]
- It is well known that women may feel desire for one another, and even if that is not the case, there is no guarantee that one of them will not go back to her menfolk and describe to them what she has seen of the beauty of the dancer and her movement, so this may affect the men and may cause a great deal of mischief. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade such things.
- It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should look at another woman then describe her to her husband so that it is as if he can see her.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4839.]
The Issue of Video-taping [fatwa 10791]
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said:
- In addition to the reservations about taking pictures at wedding parties as mentioned above, there is a very serious reservation which is: We have heard that some women bring cameras with them to take pictures of this celebration, and I do not know what justification these women have for taking pictures at these parties which are then spread among the people, intentionally or otherwise. Do those who take the pictures think that anyone approves of their actions? I do not think that anyone approves of what they do; I do not think that anyone would like his daughter’s or wife’s picture to be taken and kept by those misguided women to show to whomever they want, whenever they want? Would any of you agree for his mahrams’ pictures to be in the hands of other people, to be a source of mockery if they are ugly and a provocation of desire if they are beautiful?
- We have even heard of something that is worse than that: that some people bring a video camera to these parties to take moving pictures, and they watch it themselves or show it to others every time they want to enjoy looking at these scenes.
- We have also heard that some those who go to these parties and videotape them are young men, who mix with women at these parties or they sit alone with them, and no wise person who has any knowledge of the sources of sharee’ah will doubt that this is evil and is haraam, and that it is stooping to the lowest level of imitating the kuffaar. [Friday Khutbah in the Jami’ Mosque of ‘Unayzah, entitled Munkaraat al-Afraah Mahaadhir Laylat al-Zafaaf. ]
And the Shaykh also said:
- With regard to taking pictures of events, no wise person will doubt that this is reprehensible, and no wise person – let alone a believer – would agree to let his mahrams’ pictures be taken – mothers, daughters, sisters, wives – to be a product to be shown to everyone or be viewed for the enjoyment of any immoral person.
- Even worse than that is videotaping events, because this is like a living picture with sound. This is something that will be denounced by every person of sound mind and proper religious commitment, and we cannot imagine that anyone who has a sense of modesty and faith would allow it. [Fataawa ‘Ulama’ al-Balad al-Haraam, pp. 439. ]
Impermissible Wedding Gifts
On gifts such as cutlery which is gold-plated etc.
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who drinks from a vessel of silver is gargling fire from Hell into his stomach.” (Reported by Muslim, 3846).
- It is not permissible to sell housewares and bathroom fixtures if they are plated with gold or silver, to either men or women, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not drink from vessels of gold and silver, or eat from plates of the same. They are for them in this world and for you in the Hereafter.” Saheeh – agreed upon. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever drinks from a vessel of gold or silver is only gulping fire from Hell into his belly.” Saheeh – agreed upon; this version was narrated by Muslim. And it is haraam to use them in other ways that have to do with eating and drinking, because of the general meaning of the reason and so as to ward off means that lead to haraam.
- The same applies to watches and glasses that are plated with gold or silver – it is not permissible to sell them to men. [Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (22/156).] [Fatwa 93416]
A brief guide to an inshaa’Allah-halal wedding ceremony since the wedding season is around the corner for many.
May Allah SWT forgive us our shortcomings, make us firm and guide us to do that which He SWT is Pleased with. Ameen.
And Allah SWT knows best.