I think my Feb. challenge helped me a bit by making me more conscious of where I stand (which is no where). Allahu ‘Alam what the quality of my Salah’s been but I think I pushed myself a little which is a good start alhamdolilah. That’s why blogging is excellent to make oneself accountable.
My March goal: control the tongue from saying that which is wrong and engaging it in saying that which is beneficial.
How will it help me for my Ramadan goals? Well, don’t we see people fasting from food but not fasting from wrong speech? Since that’s where a lot of people slip, I want to be the one to stand out and prevent myself from slipping right there inshaa’Allah. Working on the tongue will help me work on my heart because if you control your tongue, you’re controlling your heart from the desire to say whatever it wants without any discipline. When the heart learns to be patient then I think it will in turn affect other body parts to be patient in His Obedience. And Allah SWT knows best.
Daily steps to achieve the goal:
- not speak unnecessarily, i.e. either speak that which is of use or remain silent and be saved.
- lower my voice even more to have better control over my tone especially when I’m upset.
- when with people who demand my special respect, I should keep my thinking cap ON and ‘stay’ with the speaker instead of jumping to conclusions.
- excel in beautiful speech by slowing down and selecting the words before I speak like one selects the best and the most beautiful flowers to gift someone.
- when sensing any trigger for argument, make the other person relaxed and then convey what I have to convey without letting emotions ride me. If that’s not going to work acc. to previous experience then just zip it.
- run away or secretly disappear from a place where there’s a possibility of backbiting.
- keep a log and count how many conversations I’ve had and analyze them in my head as to how many were against me.
- don’t be ‘honest’ at the expense of hurting someone. Use some hikmah.
- talk for only 4 reasons: (1) in need for e.g. when asked about something, basic courteous conversation with family etc. (2) nasheeHa when it will be of use (3) dhikr of His Blessings (4) Quraan/adhkaar
- when asked about something, not speak if I know of someone who’s more knowledgeable than me is within that environment.
- not speak out of turn especially when among close people.
- listen even if I know as if I don’t know.
- remind myself that a true believer is the one from whom another believer is safe both from his tongue/hands.
…and inshaa’Allah by doing this I intend to:
- save this world from the burden of one believer’s hurtful and useless speech.
- get rid of the prevalent corrupted mentality of ‘speaking your mind’ because our opinions are not important unless they align with what Allah SWT is 100% pleased with. Also, our minds are not a haven of purity, waswaas-proof, free from any false assumptions so I intend to only speak that which is right inshaa’Allah. And Allah SWT is the Source of Strength.
- continue to work on my Feb. challenge simultaneously inshaa’Allah.
May Allah SWT forgive me and may I fear Him in the manner He SWT must be feared.
Previous post related to this: Special Message for Chatterboxes: Shhh!