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Reflecting on life…a year later…

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

When a believer hopes from Allah SWT alone and seeks from Him Alone then he will discover that in certain instances in life in which all circumstances may be forcing him to fall into ditches …almost instantly Allah SWT will literally pick him up before he falls into one. With no-one on his side, it is natural for the believer who has limited thinking of a human being to be shocked but such things do happen. He SWT keeps on protecting while we are happily ignorant.

This reminds me of several incidences in my life in which now I think about it, I am horrified at how ignorant I was regarding the realities of life but Allah SWT protected me. He SWT blessed me with safety in the past, i.e. when I was a naive teenager who didn’t know anything and had to travel alone on her own back home several times and within the perilous inter-city travels of those cities which were notorious for their lack of safety. Surrounded by wolves, I had to attend to my business. When I didn’t know a thing about life and had nobody on my side, Allah SWT protected me in the darkest of nights. And then He SWT protected me in the broadest of daylights when local transit is not crowded and anything scary could happen as you hear stories today. Even though my parents and my brother are the most protective of families, I was still subject to certain dangers. SubhanAllah!

He SWT even protected me days-on-end when I was almost literally living at university, spending long days and parts of the dark hours working in Microbiology labs or doing ‘clinicals’ for Psychology. Having to pass through the very prayer room which was near the University Pub and recalling how crazy people become here every Thursday night, I remember becoming disgusted at the Satanic costumes they’d be wearing (yes Satan-worshippers do exist and are not shy to let the world know their presence) waiting in a huge  line-up to attend sometimes a heavy metal concert.  Here, they start partying on Thursday, a night before the weekend starts. I remember how I used to dash to the prayer room to be relieved to find sisters, like me, who had to stay there for certain reasons.

It was part of life.

And I recall all His Favours today on me  that He preserved my honor, dignity, Eeman even though circumstances threatened those very precious possessions. It would’ve been wiser to take some of the asbaab and I know when I was older, I took them but even when I didn’t He SWT protected me. Whether that was my parents’ and grandma’s duaas or the Ayatul Kursiy I recited upon leaving home…I can feel the Power of Divine Help in those seven years of my life.

Zaahid is the one who attaches no value to worldly possessions, neither positive nor negative. If Allah SWT blesses him with it, then that’s excellent and he shows his Shukr by striving to use them in His Pleasure. If Allah SWT takes them away for a reason wiser than our minds can properly understand, then that’s even better because it decreases his attachment and makes him patient. Lesser possessions, lesser accountability.

People think about ‘settling down’ in certain phases of their life. I may sound crazy but I’m a believer of nomadic life despite having grown up in comfort. I know how destructive comfort is at times. I think one should travel and move about so that you are forced to keep fewer possessions, and that you don’t form life-long attachments with people in the community which makes it hard for you to leave. After you fulfill a purpose, you pack your bags and leave to a new place and start from scratch to do what you have been asked to do by Allah SWT. I hate packing and  I terribly hate goodbyes but it is not necessary that what we hate is bad for us! We must live like travellers so that our hearts feel stronger and thus focus more on why we were brought in this dunia in the first place.

Walking down the memory lane, I discovered Al Hafeedh, Ar-Ra’oof and Ar-Rahmaan. With these Names and Attributes, I wish to unlock the understanding of Al Waliy inshaa’Allah. Almost one year since I graduated from university, it is beneficial to reflect over His Mercy. Back then I used to feel doomed at the constant impending nature of exams/grades (!) but subhanAllah how childish were my concerns and how beautiful and vast is His World to waste time on such small matters.

The exam we are in which began as soon as we became Mukkalaf is the exam we are all heedless about. I hope in a year from now I am proud of how far I have come in my knowledge of Him, maturity, strength, Eeman and contentment with His Decree and that I can recount His Favours even more-so inshaa’Allah.

I know Allah SWT will help me! He said so in the hadith that I am as my believer thinks of me! So I’m banking my life on that statement of Allah SWT.

May Allah SWT make me and everyone steadfast in our optimism, patience and contentment. May Allah SWT forgive us all for not thanking Him like He Deserves and protect us and our loved ones from tangible and intangible harms…and may Allah SWT grant us and our families Jannatul Firdaus al ‘Ala. Ya Mu’ti, I don’t know what my life holds but I do know it is in Your Hands so grant me knowledge and yaqeen of Your Greatness so everything that brings me closer to You becomes great in its honor for me and everything that takes me away from remembering Your Greatness is cut-off. I ask for khayr in everything for me and everyone related to me for You are the Source of all Khayr and You are the Only One who responds to a slave’s duaa!

Ameen!

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