بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I met a sister a day ago. I’ve been randomly bumping into her for the past week but talked to her properly only yesterday.
It is difficult to see someone with tender hopes just like the old you. It is difficult to see the same spark in somebody’s eyes which you no longer have.
This sister has the same dreams I had. Exactly the same. When we talked, I felt like advising her that please don’t expect things to go perfectly. That if you really wish what you wish, you will be tested in your sincerity.
I felt years older than her although she was only a year and half younger than me.I almost felt this motherly feeling towards her. I just didn’t want her to get hurt. SubhanAllah. I didn’t want her to have false hopes but at the same time I didn’t want to discourage her. Instead I decided to push her, gently throwing in a few disclaimers here and there so as not to scare her away.
It was a difficult encounter because I was surprised how I had changed.
What happened to me? Why have I become what I have become?
Whatever happened to what I wanted in my life?
I do have the answers to all those questions but it is Allah SWT who Decrees and Allah SWT who Plans. He is the Best of Planners and since Allah SWT is in-charge that should sufficient for our satisfaction.
Unfortunately, I also realized in that moment that I had stopped making duaa for something I was so passionate about last year this time around. It was internally that I had given up after not finding external resources.
How had I allowed myself to reach this stage?
It reminded me of the following video and the notion of idealism:
Rasulalah salalahu ‘alayhi wasalam has asked us to make duaa for Jannatul Firdaus, a destination where our actions would never be able to take us. It would be only His Mercy that would. Why do we forget that He is the Source of all opportunities? Why do we forget that it is He Alone who can provide us with assistance (Taufeeq)? Why do we forget that it is not Him who doesn’t will khayr for us but our own sins which block the khayr we seek? Why do we need external support when we have everything inside of us, i.e. the flame of Eeman? Isn’t that enough to help us ask the Most Generous for anything and everything?
Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi raji’-oon. Allahuma ajirni fee musabati wakhlufli khayran minha. Allahuma inni as’aluka ‘ilman-naafi’unn wa ‘amalan mutaqabalan wa rizqan tayyiba!
Ya Rabb, forgive us for not understanding Your Might, grant us Your Ma’rifah & Taufeeq and surround us with those who will help us achieve what we secretly wish! Please hasten the release of those who gave honor to Your Knowledge by Your Mercy. Ameen.
وَمَا أَصَابَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَن كَثِيرٍ
وَمَا أَنتُم بِمُعْجِزِينَ فِي الْأَرْضِ ۖ وَمَا لَكُم مِّن دُونِ اللَّهِ مِن وَلِيٍّ وَلَا نَصِيرٍ
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ الْجَوَارِ فِي الْبَحْرِ كَالْأَعْلَامِ
إِن يَشَأْ يُسْكِنِ الرِّيحَ فَيَظْلَلْنَ رَوَاكِدَ عَلَىٰ ظَهْرِهِ ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّكُلِّ صَبَّارٍ شَكُورٍ
أَوْ يُوبِقْهُنَّ بِمَا كَسَبُوا وَيَعْفُ عَن كَثِيرٍ
And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much. (30)
And you cannot escape from Allâh (i.e. His Punishment) in the earth, and besides Allâh you have neither any Walî (guardian or a protector helper) nor any helper. (31)
And among His Signs are the ships, in the sea, like mountains. (32)
If He wills, He could cause the wind to cease, then they would become motionless on the back (of the sea). Verily, in this are signs for everyone patient and grateful. (33)
Or He may destroy them (by shipcoreck) because of that which their (people) have earned. And He pardons much. (34)