بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلى الله وسلم على رسول الله وعلى آله وأصحابه ومن اهتدى بهديه إلى يوم الدين
JazakummAllahu khayran for the kindness people have showed me through their thoughtful comments and emails in the past three months. Particularly those that asked about my ‘disappearance’ and were concerned about my well-being. After receiving yet another comment recently, I thought I must respond publicly to the warmth such individuals are generously extending through their sweet messages. They must be thanked. I am in debt for all the good people do to me and this is what I feel from the depth of my heart, online or offline. Allah swt has made me see the goodness of so many people in just a few months.
For each and everyone who said they love me for the sake of Allah swt, I make du’aa to Allah swt that for the One whose sake you love me, may He love you.
It is a beautiful feeling to know that it is only the love of Tawheed that brought upon such messages. All Praise is due to Allah swt Alone for placing love between us Muslimeen. Alhamdolilah.
Quraan – The Torch
As I type, it is still difficult for me. For some reason, my brain heats up very quickly and my body’s gag-reflex has become quite hyperactive whether the stimulus is food-related or not. Alhamdolilah, this Spring has brought news of a new blossom in Umm S.’s life. Alhamdolilah that Allah swt has continued to bless me despite my deficiencies as a wife, daughter, sister, a Muslimah.
This blessing has made me forget all the hardships contained within its onset as well as all external hardships. I see this as a package of ease in my ongoing challenges. With every heart beat I listen, my heart strengthens for the little blessing’s sake. I was a fearful, panicky weakling and Allah swt blessed me with a new dimension of tawakul.
As my heart trembled at times, and still does, Allah swt taught me that my desire for attaining something precious must not influence my emotions to the point that it jeopardizes my tawakul on Him.
SubhanAllah, I do admit I have never ever been this weak and in my physically weak moments, I make du’aa. Despite having very low fiqh (understanding) of the Deen, low level of proficiency in reciting and understanding the Quraan, and thus spiritually weak lifestyle, I still make du’aa. As incompetent as I feel for this new role, I know the power of du’aa for wasn’t it a mother’s du’aa which helped regain the sight of a visually-impaired child whom we know today as the great Imam al-Bukhari(R)? Was it not a mother’s du’aa that has been preserved for al-‘Alameen in the Quraan that resulted in the most chaste of women who in turn gave birth to one of the most honorable of Prophets? Surely, my du’aa, too would impact the future I can’t control and fear. Surely, He swt knows the heart’s cries and my past’s struggles. I am, as usual, banking on my good hopes on Him for I have big dreams for His Ummah.
I remind myself that while a child does bring glory to the father’s name in this world, my name will not be forgotten in the Heavens if I do my job right. I remind myself that I am in reality constructing my bridge to Jannah with every effort I put in despite being only a passing shadow in the eyes of this world. Dust is the real bed and I pray to Ar-Rahmaan to reward every mother for her tears and the thoughts of worry for her child’s Deen.
For I am worried.
I have seen the evils that lurk at every door. It’s not an exaggeration.
We must truly take Shaytaan and his troops as our enemies like Allah swt has asked us to and must recognize the power of forces we’re working against. His number one target is a family wanting to become stronger on the Deen.
Not only that, I have other concerns too. Before marriage, in the long ago past (or what it seems like), I used to envision learning everything quickly and then be super-prepared when it’s time for me to teach.
What a joke! That was my naivety. QaddarAllahu wa ma shaa-a’ fa’l.
So now I need to have a database of second party individuals who can water the trees of ‘ilm in my blessing’s little heart.
Where would I find the right sincere teachers who would not only teach factual information but also:
- the true meaning of living upto the conditions of Shahadah like the Anbiya, Shuhada, Siddiqeen and Sawliheen?
- how to speak and how not to speak and thus all mannerisms of Rasulalah salalahu ‘alayhi wasalam in such a way that entrenches the child’s heart with his salalahu ‘alayhi wasalam’s love and affinity to his practice?
- steadfastness, patience, courage, bravery,justice, humility, integrity and assertiveness of the Sahaba?
- proper meaning of Zuhd, Istighfaar, proper practice of tazkiyah and application of hikmah as that of the salaf?
- the traits of hypocrites/sell-outs and how to avoid them in today’s time when everyone is hiding the Truth?
It’s troubling. Especially when a person feels they have so very limited means.
But…see this is where Allah swt helps a slave get up.
Every time I read the Quraan and ponder over the ayaat briefly, it sends a wave of comfort to my heart.
With every ayah, the Rabb al ‘Alameen confirms that the Quraan has clearly everything a mother would need.
We just need to open it and study it like it deserves inshaa’Allah. And at that my heart relaxes. I have answers to all the challenges the unknown future’s going to bring for me. I have the weapon of du’aa and the torch of Quraan to help me through. I almost feel like a ninja, getting ready for battle. SubhanAllah. Inherently we all are weak but with Quraan, we become invincible.
I request everyone looking for solutions in their lives to give the Quraan a chance this Ramadan and make an effort to read it properly with understanding. Join classes if you have to. Make BayyinahTV your family entertainment. It’ll be the best investment for your future. Just allocate a few hours daily in any way possible and guidance will enter your heart if you approach the Quraan with sincerity inshaa’Allah.
Allah swt says in ayah # 17 of Surat Muhammad:
While as for those who accept guidance, He increases their guidance, and bestows on them their piety. (17)
which means that those who seek guidance, Allah facilitates it for them; He guides them to it, makes them firm on it, and gives them more of it.
(and bestows on them their Taqwa. ) meaning, He inspires them to their righteous guidance.
Allah swt also describes who exactly will get His Guidance and what their traits are in the first few ayaat of Surat’l Baqarah:
Hidayah – correct guidance – is only granted to those who have Taqwa – fear of Allah. This is a sample of the numerous Ayat indicating that the believers, in particular, benefit from the Qur’an. That is because the Qur’an is itself a form of guidance, but the guidance in it is only granted to the righteous.
Ibn `Abbas and Ibn Mas`ud and other Companions of the Messenger of Allah said,
(guidance for the Muttaqin (the pious and righteous persons), means, a light for those who have Taqwa.
It is clear then what we’re supposed to do:
(1) Strive to adopt qualities of Muttaqeen and
(2) Seek and accept the little packages of guidance we get without grudges and laziness. And apply it immediately.
Nothing complicated. Be good, do good, accept good – all in accordance to He wants. And how will you know what He swt really wants you to do? Read and understand the Quraan. Build that strong connection.
The effort counts, the product doesn’t.
My Ramadan this year will be very different but I’m not going to let it make me despair. In fact, already I have made certain changes in my life, alhamdolilah, realizing that life is unpredictable.
3 Things which are part of my goals :
- reading, listening, pondering, and learning more of the Quraan with love
- approach Allah swt with Istighfaar because I feel every time I worked on it, miracles happened walhamdolilah
- living a mindful life by doubling/tripling + my intentions with every act I do so that I can maximize my rewards since I also realized that my capacity to do good is limited
Make sure you have at least 3 key areas to work on.
Be happy that you’ve got health and rejoice on the arrival of Ramadan!
For me the only true happiness of this world lies in Ramadan and as the days draw closer, my heart gets more excited.
Wishing everyone a beautiful Ramadan of accepted du’aas and all ‘ibadaat. In addition, the taufeeq to fast with full energy. Ameen.
Thank you to everyone who has subscribed to my blog and shared my posts as well as commented. Indeed, this is a grace of Allah swt. May it never diminish, ameen.
My other blog never got the chance for me to add anything to it ever since I made the announcement and I think it’ll be a long time before I add people to it and/or add posts. If you have any thoughts/advice/concerns, please do continue to share inshaa’Allah. I won’t be posting but I will be definitely ‘approving’ comments inshaa’Allah.
Back to my ‘i’tikaaf from the world for now even though I have lots of exciting posts waiting to be typed or published! Inshaa’Allah soon and with Allah swt is the Taufeeq for all good.
Praying for everyone’s Eeman, health, wealth and all that constitutes blessings. May Allah swt protect all your blessings and increase you in them through Shukr. Ameen!
P.S. Please remember the Ummah in your du’aas. And me too if any good has been done to you through me.